Parraga Lab Poetry Corner

December 2022

Poem by Grace Parraga

Baby it's Futboly outside

I really can't breathe -
Baby I can't abide

I can't even sneeze -
try some budesonide

I wish I could inhale - something for my wheeze -
I've got some trelegy, give it a squeeze

My chest doctor will start to worry-
Think hard about triple therapy

My MRI will look really pore
Rest awhile and watch Mrocco Score

I can't say hooray
ICS-LABA-LAMA will help your breathing today!

Poem by Alexander Matheson

Oh, Christmas time is here,
The season of good cheer,
But for me it's not so jolly,
'Cause I can't breathe, my asthma's acting folly.

I wheeze and gasp for air,
As I try to decorate my tree,
My inhaler's by my side,
But it's not enough, I need to flee.

I head outside to find some space,
To catch my breath and clear my face,
And as I walk, I see a ball,
A soccer ball, just waiting for a fall.

I kick it with my feet,
And chase it down the street,
And as I run, I feel my chest,
Relax and breathe, I've passed the test.

So Christmas may not be perfect,
But with soccer and my inhaler,
I can still have fun,
And enjoy the season with my friends and family,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright.
But not for me, I can't breathe,
My asthma's acting up, I need some relief.

Inhaler by my side,
I try to calm my wheezing chest,
But the air is cold and dry,
It's making my symptoms worse, I must confess.

Asthmatic night, asthmatic night,
Breathe in, breathe out, try with all my might,
To calm my lungs and ease my plight,
Asthmatic night, asthmatic night.

The air is still, not a sound,
But inside my chest, a battle's raging,
I'm struggling to catch my breath,
As the asthma attack keeps on engaging.

But then I hear a gentle voice,
Soothing and calm, it makes me rejoice,
It's the voice of my loved ones,
Saying "It's okay, we're here for you, don't be scared, we'll get through this together, just hold on tight."

Asthmatic night, asthmatic night,
Breathe in, breathe out, with all my might,
I know I'm not alone, I have my loved ones by my side,
Asthmatic night, asthmatic night.
You know SABAs and SAMAs and LABAs and LAMAs
Symba and mepo and dupi and Xolair
But do you recall
The most effective treatment of alllll

Rudolf the asthmatic reindeer,
Had a very hacking cough,
And if you ever heard it,
All of the other treatments,
Used to give him quakes and shakes,
He could never go and travel,
For his health insurance sake.

Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Alonso came to say,
Rudolph with your kicks so high,
Won't you play for Uruguay?

So he just took some benra,
And normalized his FEV,
Rudolph the healthy Reindeer,
Played in FIFA thanks to briii-berrrr-yyyyyyy

Poem by Alexander Biancaniello

Frost on window panes
Cold breath in seizing airways
Hurrying indoors

Inside, where it's warm
Friends cheering at the TV
Kick, pass, shoot - and goal!

Poem by Angela Wilson


Twas the night before the final match when all through the lab,
Not a creature was wheezing, thanks to benralizumab.
The N-95s were hung by the pleth box with care,
In hopes that the 30th ETHA patient soon would be there.

The students were nestled all snug with their abstracts,
While visions of awards and papers danced in their heads.
And Grace in her lab swag and I in my scrubs
Had just settled down to watch FIFA world cup.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our chairs to see what was the matter.
Away to the atrium I flew in a hurry,
Tore open the door when Cory and Anurag said its OK don't worry.

Now Grace! Now Angela! Now Marrissa! Now Alex!
Now Kiran! Now Ivailo! Now Paulina! Now Maks!
To the PFT lab, to the deep learning cave hall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

The doctors were dressed in soccer jerseys from their favourite team,
And their briefcases were bursting with referrals for Trelegy.
A bundle of referrals from asthma clinic
Made them both look so much like St. Nick!

Grace sprang to the table, to her team gave a whistle,
And away we all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard Cory exclaim as he walked out of sight,

Poem by Hana Serajeddini

Neymar the dramatic diver
Had a very shiny smile
And if an asthmatic saw it
They may wheeze for a while

Most of the world cup watchers
Love to watch Neymar play
But asthmatics have to use their puffers
And maybe a nasal spray!

Poem by Ivailo Petrov

Snow on the Christmas field,
With no win ever sealed
Davies scores ho ho ho
players go go go

players run run run
plenty of time under the winter sun
but loosing every game
is very lame

watching games is a struggle
and can be a trouble
but doing the asthma Measure
is a real pleasure

living the life in the lab
is a real life recap
prepares you not to be a schmuck
everybody - good luck!

Poem by Kiran Kooner

You better breathe deep
You better keep still
You better not sleep
Or he won't be chill
Santa Claus is coming to lab

He's scannin' ETHA
He's polarizing
He's gonna find out who's thesis-writing
Santa Claus is coming to lab

He sees you watching futbol
And he knows when Messi scores
He knows who won and lost the game
So keep watching soccer wars

You better breathe deep
You better keep still
You better not sleep
Or he won't be chill
Santa Claus is coming to lab

Poem by Maksym Sharma

Problems in your airway tree?
Don't worry, we got you triple-therapy!

We are all filled with Christmas cheer
And excited to watch the world-cup this year

Even with a corrupt FIFA referee, we'll all be glee!

Poem by Marrissa McIntosh

Themes: holiday spirit, world cup, asthma

'Twas the day of FIFA finals, when all through the lab
Not a creature was working, and not a single new tab (from Maks);
And I with my spreadsheets in the deep learning cave,
Had just settled in for an asthma VDP rave,

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the entire APILab with cups full of ... coffee,

The players move the ball, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment which team was first pick.
The favorite team scores, and the growing crowd cheers
But the rivals don't quit and their goal brings new fears;

With one minute left, and both teams tied,
Everyone yells out "that was offside!"
Our player falls and the ref blows the whistle,
One penalty kick, shot like a missile,

The crowd erupts as the ball goes in,
And with that, an exciting World Cup win.
With the end of FIFA, to my great delight,

Poem by Paulina Wyszkiewicz

Deck the lab with triple therapy
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Hoping patients become merry
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our mask and lab coat
Fa la la la la, la la la la
APILab research is the GOAT
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Playing football isn't easy
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Some players may get wheezy
Fa la la la la, la la la la
In the deep learning cave we watch
Fa la la la la, la la la la
World cup season is topnotch
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Poem by Vedanth Desaigoudar

This Cold Winter Christmas,
Let's wish all our asthma participants an improved overall fitness!
To our football players abroad, let's see which team is the most ambitious!
Stay safe, stay warm, and most importantly make something delicious!

December 2021

Poem by Grace Parraga

I'm dreaming of a COVIDFREE Christmas
With every dissolved phase result, I cry

Where the airways, alveoli and barrier glisten
and patients listen
To hear pfts blow at 100%

I'm dreaming of a COVIDFREE Christmas
With every dissolved phase result, I cry

May your new year bring less COVID
And why?
So all your papers are immediately accepted and shine bright.

Poem by Kiran Kooner

This Christmas Eve,
Protect your airway tree
Mask up and it's a guarantee
Please, don't disagree!

Poem by Marrissa McIntosh

Although this year was full of rejections
Like ISMRM, case reports, and AERFLO
The holidays are the perfect time for reflections
And testing out some new directions
Like watching Ross get excited for snow
Giving friends and family love and affections
And making sure everyone has COVID injections
Let's end the year in a cheerful glow
And without any COVID infections
And cheers to a year of imperfections

Poem by Paulina Wyszkiewicz

Computed tomography is a popular imaging modality.
Hyperpolarized 129Xe lights up the lungs like a Christmas tree.
Respirologists treat many types of lung disease, such as asthma, pneumonia and COPD.
Imaging scientists become jolly when the SNR value is quite lofty.
Simulating ultra-low-dose CT is performed for dose reduction feasibility.
Tobacco cigarettes are very unhealthy, they produce smoke you inhale like a chimney.
MRI segmentation of the lung is key, it computes an important value called VDP.
Alveoli transfer oxygen to the bloodstream, they are the endpoint of the airway tree.
Scientific research is very necessary, successful publications lead to festivity.

Poem by Alexander Matheson

I don't want a lot for Christmas,
Thises is just one thing I need,
I don't care the impact factor is well below 73,
I'll just check the mean and mode,
Before I go click upload,
My hypothesis is true,
All I want for Christmas is Blue!

I don't want a lot for Christmas,
There is just one thing I need,
I don't care about updating,
My languishing ORCID-ID,
I've got to perform corrections
At an alpha of point five,
Then go upload my first draft,
Before I crash my hard-drive.

I want citations for my own,
Now the literature will show,
My hypothesis is true,
All I want for Christmas is Blue!

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas,
Just keep my p-values all low,
I'm just gonna keep on waiting,
For Grace to tell me to upload,
I won't make a draft and send it,
To reviewers for feedback,
I won't even stay awake to
Find that they have been side tracked.

Why isn't it in press tonight,
All my analysis is right?
What more can I do?
Oh bother, all I want for Christmas is reviews!

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas,
To the editor I pled,
"I just want to see my paper,
Posted on Pubmed,"
Oh I just want this to be done,
Revisions they are never fun,
The galley proofs are through!
All I want for Christmas is Blue!

Poem by Maksym Sharma

Even if COVID has the North pole in lockdown,
Christmas poems and happiness is still in town,

APILab brought it with them today,
The Weasel is celebrating this day,

Motivating to publish work that takes the virus down!

Poem by Ivailo Petrov

I like to see the Christmas lights
I like to see the Christmas spirit
I like to see the Christmas nights
I like to see the Christmas limit

I like to hear the Christmas song
I like to hear the Christmas music
I like to hear the Christmas gong
I like to hear the Christmas classic

I like to get the Christmas gift
I like to get the Christmas break
I like to get the Christmas lift
I like to get the Christmas cake

December 2019

My Favourite Things: By Grace Parraga based entirely on the lyrics and music of Rogers and Hammerstein

Sputum drops on lab coats

And mucous plugs in asthma

Bronchiolitis obliterans in vapers from Canada

Brown paper packages lost in Milwaukee
These are a few of my anxieties

Cyan-colored ventilation and piiink perfusion
Manuscripts and posters
And galleys with booboos

Wild data findings that fly in the face of reality
These are a few of my perplexities......

Girls with bad asthma and men with blue pallour
Snowstorms that cancel our visits from Stratford.
Early winter weather that costs us MRI bookings
These are a few of my serious wooories

When the FOT breaks
When the FENO dies
When the coils are bust

I simply remember my APILab top team

And then I don't feel so sad

Poem by Danielle Knipping

As we come to the end of 2019
The end of AERFLO can almost be seen
80 AERFLO scans in the course of a year
So it's time to relax and enjoy a cold beer

We sent 40 newsletters, gave 72 doses
To promote natural killer cells to induce apoptosis
We learned one new language, hablo espaƱol,
And helped get severe asthma under control

Now 2020 has almost arrived
Quite frankly I'm just glad we survived
Now it's time to spread holiday cheer
So happy holidays to all and a happy new year!

Poem by Tamas Lindenmaier

Hi everybody, how are you?
I hope nobody has the flu,
It causes people so much woe.
Kind of like when students go,
Rachel, Andrea and Johnathan will soon,
And the lab will be different as a new decade blooms.
But have no fear, I'm sure things will be fab.
Cause we're doing some great work with asthma and benrab

Christmas by Marrissa McIntosh

Christmas arrives just as one year ends
It's the best time to spend with family and friends
You can go skating at the rink
Or have a warm drink
Or help your mom make the cookies she sends

This year I'll answer the question again and again
"So tell me what exactly are you researching?"
I'll try my best to explain
And all I'll see on their face is pain
Because I could talk about Xenon MR to no end

This holiday isn't about gifts or snow aplenty
But giving love and happiness to many
So spread some holiday cheer
And have a holiday beer
And I'll see you all in 2020

Poem by Jenna Veugen

'Twas the day after finals,
and all through the school,
not a student was studying,
not even the fool!

I packed up for Christmas,
Ready for home,
But before I could leave,
There was somewhere I must go.

So I wake up early,
And grab a coffee,
Head to Robarts,
And pass by the Christmas tree.

I sit down at my desk,
And start working away,
When over the wall,
I hear Marissa say:

"Are you coming for Christmas lunch?
You'll need to write a poem!"
So here I am,
Yea, maybe I'll just go home.

Poem by Maksym Sharma

At Christmas, lights burn brighter,
and friendly hugs get even tighter.

Across white December nights,
trees are shimmed with tiny lights.

Delicate snowflakes dancing down,
piling high across the town.

Holding my excitement one more night,
my parents will soon board their flight.

After crossing the Atlantic Ocean,
there will surely be a commotion.

As our reunion will bring great cheer,
my family is finally here.

This arrival is a Christmas gift,
I see in blue from their Doppler shift.

For all the joys it will send,
I never want this Christmas to end.

Poem by Rachel Eddy

Christmas break is here
Family food and thesis
2 O 1 9 ends

Christmas Pizza by Andrea Barker

Although we might have little snow
I wish I wish for you to know
I just can't wait
For Christmas Day
A tradition filled with dough

On Christmas day my aunt was born
So after presents in the morn
We hop in the car
We drive somewhat far
Past field that once had corn

My family's all together
In sweatpants, tees and sweaters
We eat homemade pizza
You're jealous aren't ya
It beats turkey no matter the weather

Poem by Jonathan MacNeil

A loving family

Poem by Alex Matheson

Every who in the lung lab was graduating soon,
But Alex was not, just what was he to do?

Alex needed papers - a whole paper pile,
But what could he do? This would take a while,
It could be his data didn't correlate right,
Or his line of best fit was not at all tight,
But I think the most likely reason of all,
may have been that his n was two sizes too small.

They're all leaving Robarts, they're all doing so well,
I think I just have to stop them! He yelled,
I don't want to have a new lab entourage,
I know, I'll resort to some fine sabotage...

So he search for the lab keys, then made a bad promise,
That when he was done, he'd return them to Tamas.
Alex was puzzled for a moment, by keys 1, 3, and 2,
Before he had realized only 4 would do.
Inside the filing cabinet, all the charts in a row,
LCI data, he barked, is the first thing to go!

Then to the PFT lab he slithered and slunk,
To steal the pleth-box - he was so power-drunk!
Nose clips, and helium, and an old asthma puffer!
Without all these tools they surely will suffer!
And greedy old Alex, filled, filled with a dark yearning,
Downloaded all the data, for HIS machine learning.

Then he slink to the scanner and took Robarts' best!
He took to coil loaders and took the coil vest,
Why he cleaned out the scanner as quick as a flash,
Why he even stripped the copper for some holiday cash.

And he huffed up the xenon with an anesthetic glee,
And now!, mumbled Alex, these sequences are all for me!

And Alex took the console and started to code, when a well-timed cackle, interrupted his download.
He turned around fast, and saw a small who!
Fierce Rachel sault-who, who was not more than five-two!

Oh Alex had been caught by this mighty who-lady,
Whose legendary side-eye was ever-so shady,
She stared right at Alex, with an exasperated sigh,
Asked, Why are you sabotaging sequences, WHY?

But, you know, wise old Alex was ever so clever,
He quickly replied, Well I never!
Why my kind younger mentor, sneaky Alex lied,
I just pulled a CT, with emphysema on one side.
So I'm pushing the CT to my desktop my dear,
Then I'll push to the P: drive, never you fear.

And his fib made some sense, so Rachel departed,
And Alex was finished, what he'd only just started.
And when Rachel sault-who went upstairs to her desk,
Alex's grin grew two sizes, it was quite grotesque.

There's a sight, grinned Alex,
That I simply must see!
And he deleted all the files, from the drive lettered P:,
And he heard a cry from upstairs in the lab,
But to his dismay it was not at all drab.

The students worked hard!
Why, they weren't at all scarred,
They all had new papers,
They all looked like stars.

Every who in the lab, the tall and the small,
Was coding! Without any data at all!

He hadn't stopped graduation from coming - IT CAME,
Andrew's code made new data that looked just the same!
Maybe science, Alex thought, doesn't come from a drive,
Maybe science, perhaps, is about what's inside.

And what happened then?
Well in Robarts they say,
That Alex's github grew three sizes that day!
And the minute Alex's plan was no longer airtight,
He was expelled for academic misconduct ... goodnight.